My wife and I used to think we had life all figured out. We’d perfected the art of sleep with our trusty queen-size bed. It was spacious enough for us to stretch out, roll over, and sleep like royalty. Everything was great—until we brought two German Shepherds into our lives.

That’s when everything changed.

The Queen Bed: Once Perfect, Now a Canine Cramp Fest

At first, we thought we could make it work. Sweets and Dolly, our furry “children,” seemed happy to snooze at the foot of the bed. Sure, we noticed their paws creeping closer to our space over time, but we chalked it up to their love for us.

Then one night, I woke up dangling off the edge of the bed, gripping the blanket like it was a lifeline. My wife was curled into a human question mark on the other side, and in the middle were our two dogs, sprawled out like they owned the place.

We were outnumbered. The queen bed had officially become a battlefield.

The California King Dream

Desperate for a solution, we decided to upgrade to a California King. This would be the bed to save us—a luxurious fortress of sleep that could handle two humans and two dogs.

The day the bed arrived felt like Christmas morning. It was massive, beautiful, and full of promise. We imagined ourselves sleeping like kings and queens, finally free from nightly wrestling matches for space.

That first night, we climbed into our new bed with high hopes. The dogs hopped up too, settling into their usual spots. This is it, we thought. We’ve won.

Spoiler alert: We had not. The California King really isn’t big.

Bigger Bed, Bigger Problems

Here’s the thing about German Shepherds: they adapt. Not to you, but to more space.

Instead of staying politely at the foot of the bed, Sweets and Dolly decided the middle of the bed was the new prime real estate. And why sleep straight when you can sleep sideways? By midnight, they were stretched out like furry logs, forcing my wife and me to cling to the edges like we were auditioning for Survivor: Bedroom Edition.

It turns out that no matter how big your bed is, two German Shepherds will find a way to shrink it.

Lessons from the Edge

Now, every night is a new adventure. Sometimes we wake up with a paw in the face. Sometimes it’s a tail wagging in our dreams. And sometimes, we just give up and sleep like starfish on whatever corner of the mattress is available.

But honestly? We wouldn’t have it any other way.

Sweets and Dolly might take up all the space, but they also fill our home with love, laughter, and an endless supply of fur. They’ve taught us that the size of your bed doesn’t matter—because when you share it with two dogs, it’ll never be big enough anyway.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s the best part.